PMS vs. You

So, it's THAT week. You know the one that all you men blame for your wife's irrational bitchiness on. Ok, there is some truth to the hormonal surge which wears down a woman's unusually high tolerance for everyday stupidity. Leaving her unable to ignore, at least for a few days, just how insane everyone or thing is.

I've learned a few things about my PMS.

1. It can help you at work. My lack of tolerance for other people's BS during this little period (no pun intended) actually raised my production level. My closed case % always increased during this time. Apparently, I need to be less tolerant more often. Working on that.
2. However, during this time I should never write or say what I am thinking. For instance tonight, I am blogging and undoubtedly I may say something that is going to cause the destruction of some relationship in my little circle; or at least some emotional injury is likely to occur.
3. The things I say after committing the above crime will usually be true...more proof that the truth often hurts.
4. Even when you speak the truth though, people don't appreciate you. Again, you'll have to ask around to validate that statement.
5. For all the above reasons, I should avoid friends & family if I intend to keep them, not turn in any type of professional documents that may include my opinion, do not interview for a job to avoid answering with complete 100% honesty and not respond to mindless commentary left by unknown people in my social networking circle. Why did I add them?
6. However, this is an excellent week or few days to execute written and vocal complaints to government officials because I am pissy, avoiding friends/family (see #5 ) and have been simmering over said BS for at least 3 weeks.

For example, tonight I have thoughts on:

• social networking sites and the ensuing dramafest that people like to exhibit
• unhealthy lesbians and their confusion over why they are still single
• the octuplet mom, her website and my future tax dollars (and all the other people like her that use their kids to profit)
• That Visit California ad on TV that shows us all having a good time, not working and ends with the Governator inviting more people to join us here in CA
• the CA budget proposal...sure let's raise income taxes, gas tax, stamps and whatever else...that will generate income IF YOU HAVE A F'ING JOB!!!
• the idea that releasing up to 57,000 CA criminals because their Constitutional rights are being violated by sleeping on a cot in an overcrowded prison gym, rather than a 4x5 cell. Ummm, so has anyone considered the fact that they won't get a job in CA even if they were rehabilitated??? What the heck do you think they'll do for money, I wonder?
• That peanut butter guy that took the 5th five times...better not prosecute him in CA for those 9 deaths because we can't afford to hold him accountable - have to plea him out and he'd get a 30-day community service sentence. Oh wait...we don't hold anyone accountable for anything in this country anymore.
• Congress yelling at the banking CEOs that countered with their "poor me" stories about only making "one million a year in salary, no bonus" - waaa!
• Congress failing to see that they handed over a blank check, let it be cashed and then wanted to establish the rules of engagement. Is that a Bush doctrine to do things backasswards???
• The media backlash against Suze Orman for failing to predict the financial crisis...yeah...ummm, so a former waitress turned multi-millionaire is to blame for this. Where was your broker when your portfolio went south?
• Microsoft's latest update(s) which rendered a handful of my favorite sites and programs useless today. Oh, and they - like the PB king, knowingly release IE8 Beta, with all its bugs. I wonder why people don't trust their browser and use that Firefox stuff
• financial institutions raising credit card and other interest rates because the economy is stinky and people are at risk of losing their jobs, then homes...oh wait...it all depends on them releasing the money to main street
• the unspoken fact that the rich are getting richer by the mess that they created...who do you think is buying up everything
• another unspoken fact...that companies are benefiting from this "crisis" by laying off people, not because profits are down...but by doing so they are now in a power position to rehire us all at lower rates and if salaried, keep us working like dogs...and if hourly, I bet you can't find anything f/t w/ benefits - kaa-ching sang the CEO all the way home.
• and finally, Valentine's day - because its the first year that I want to boycott its existence

So mark your calendars...don't ask me to come to a party 27 days from now. Invite me to protest something that week instead. Don't call me bitching about your life because I will inevitably end up pointing out how you are the common denominator. And you'll know I am right, but hate me for saying it. You stand no chance during those few days of my hormonal clarity.