Dorn's

Ever since I admitted to myself that I had the crush on the "little red-haired girl" I have been confused. Confused not just because I am crushing on an impossibly complicated, never-gonna-happen situation, but because I feel like I took a half-step away from where I once was.

I find myself looking at women now. And this may seem strange to some, but I have been so utterly in love with my soulmate for the last million years...that I have never really looked or flirted with any other. Which might be a good thing because its seems that is difficult too.

There was a girl up in Morro Bay that caught my eye. Tall, dark skinned, brilliant teeth, artistic hands and questioning eyes. I thanked her for bringing me coffee and watched her move about the restaurant. She was efficient, but clearly this wasn't her passion. There was an intelligence to her facial expressions and a very matter-of-fact step to her walk. No rings on her fingers...nails short...and again, her hands were powerfully creative. I did want to know more about her...she looked like she could be my age...maybe a tad younger. I left that morning a little sad for not knowing her...like some lost opportunity that didn't make sense. How many of those opportunities have I passed by or overlooked in the last 17 years? None I guess...because I do believe I already found the girl...she's just straight...lol. Oh well, next lifetime I guess.

In the meantime, what do you do when your soulmate is off on some other lesson in this life? How do you move past that perfect fit to something less fluid and vital? Or is it possible to find someone else just as "perfect" for this time?

I don't know anymore. But now that its apparent that the LRH girl is not only overly complicated for me, but also otherwise involved with another...and that the girl in Morro is temporarily, if not permanently geographically undesirable, I am left wondering if someone in LA could be looking for someone like me and stuck in that same place of trying to figure out how to find one another.

Complicated...and that's not even looking at all the other obstacles in my life path. But I wish I could find her...even if just to have a drink and talk. Something simple...something uncomplicated for once.