Marriage
"Regardless of how completely their lives are intertwined or how deeply they care for each other, individuals in same-sex relationships frequently are treated like strangers under the law — and none are afforded full equality in this country. This unequal treatment causes concrete and devastating harm. It most deeply affects those with children, those with fewer financial resources, people of color, senior citizens or those with less access to education. In addition, the government's denial of legal statuses and protections available to different-sex couples brands lesbians and gay men as second class. Lambda Legal will continue to seek an end to discrimination in access to civil marriage so that same-sex couples in this country have the same choices other couples have, including whether or not to marry.
At last count, the United States General Accounting Office reported 1,138 federal rights, protections and benefits that come with marriage. That means heterosexual married couples automatically receive these rights and protections, while same-sex couples — even those in civil unions, domestic partnerships and marriages — do not."
For more info on the 1138 click here.
Understand this...I do not want "gay rights" to be a focus of this year's general election. We, as Americans, have too many other serious national & global priorities right now that need to be center stage. And the fact is that we in the gay community have done a poor job communicating and educating the straight community - even in California. If you expect straight Californians to vote the Marriage Amendment down, then you and I have to be willing to fight that battle every day up until Election Tuesday. Don't expect the HRC or Lambda Legal to successfully fight it for us if we simply Paypal a few gay dollars to them.
It means we as the GLBT community cannot continue to live quietly behind our closeted doors. It means we ALL must step forward and not just be counted in votes, but be seen and heard by friends, family, neighbors, co-workers, business partners, local politicians - and yes, even those opposed to our "lifestyle." Why? Because until we make ourselves known to them our voices will continue to be lost in weakness as someone else's problem, someone else's issue. Sure, your straight neighbor may know you are gay and not have a problem with it, but until you explain to them that we are not seeking "gay rights" via marriage but simply "equal rights" that have been attached legally to the definition of marriage. Until you educate everyone you know and make our issue important to them as American citizens enforcing equality for all, then we can fully expect that the zealous religious nuts will reach into their treasure chest with the turn of the key called "Fear" and vote this down even in California.
And yes there will be causalities. Some will lose their jobs, their friends, be disowned and cursed. Others will be beaten and maybe someone will be killed simply because they chose to stand up rather then remain quiet in the shadows. That's our real fear isn't it? Being chastised by other people, constantly having to look over your shoulder to see if you are being followed...worried about if your property will be vandalized...worrying if your partner will be cornered alone one night and found dead the next day. That is our fear...that is how we have been kept quiet. That is why we flock to certain cities that are openly gay, attend "gay" events/bars/clubs, seek employers that have DP benefits and non-discrimination policies. We are afraid to live openly and be our authentic selves. There are a few that do so...and some do it in varying degrees...but many of us just try avoid the conversation or the confrontation. And that is the problem. Until we start to educate those around us that we are indeed here...and that maybe there might even be more than 10% of us...not until then can we ever expect a real change. Like sitting at the front of the bus and refusing to move, we as a gay community have to refuse to stand in the shadows...stay in our little gay cities or gay parts of town.
It means sitting down my 85 year old grandmother who knows I am gay and loves me tremendously, but doesn't want to talk about it and forcing her to listen to my story...and asking her if she truly believes that her Catholic God will punish me in hell for loving another woman. Asking her if she really wants me to be a second-class citizen in a country that she escaped to during WWII. Our battle is just as much with ourselves as it is with those that wish to discriminate against us. I may not want to get married right now or ever, but I certainly am against a majority of Californians telling me that their religious ideals of "marriage" are my only legal option. That is a step backwards my friends...and hasn't the last 8 years been enough backassward thinking and policy making?
Perhaps Obama is right. Perhaps "marriage" should be disentangled from what we really want which is equal rights. Perhaps what really needs to happen in this country is that all those straight marriages need to be "dissolved" as a governmental function and instead maybe the straight community needs to file for "civil unions" with "marriage" becoming a religious function/ceremony with no legal or governmental entanglements. Defining "civil unions" as a contract between any two consenting individuals with certain rights and responsibilities tied to that merger. It removes the moral problem that these religious nut jobs claim to have a problem with.
So Catholics and Christians...if your God has told you that homosexuals will "burn in hell" as it was so aptly screamed by a protestor during the first ceremony today...well, then I won't be joining your church, worshipping your God or contributing my gay sinful dollars so you can lobby bigoted politicians. But stay the hell away from the U.S. Constitution - because I am an American and I do pay taxes and I bet that I spend my gay dollars to support the economic climate that your straight bigoted ass enjoys. Trust me...it would be a sad, pathetic country if all "ten percent" of us gay homos left this country...or even this State Your housing and job markets would go thru economic shock because we are a creative force to be reckoned with and you all know it. And there are even a few of us that do other things besides create pretty little things for you to watch, wear and live in...imagine that...human beings with various skills making a life and contributing to society.
The disentanglement of "marriage" with equal rights will afford me the option of joining a religious or spiritual organization that supports what MY God believes. And under that roof, within those walls, with members that hold that as Truth then a religious marriage ceremony will mean something to me. Right now, quite frankly the heterosexual community has made a total mockery of the institution of marriage...it serves only as a reminder that an estimated 49% of you enter into it with no real intent to love until death do you part. You shed your children like torn clothing and expect my tax dollars to pick up the bill when you decide not to provide for them.
As for the protestors that felt so compelled to stand around shouting out their bigotry today - well, you are an example of the hate and intolerance that our forefathers were trying to escape from and forged the very foundation of this Country upon to create a new world ideal. I can only imagine a few of you went home to your families feeling proud in your righteousness and fail to see how utterly shameful such actions were today. You are the contributing mess that we struggle against trying to shape this Nation back into one of the greatest and not the abomination that the current administration buried us under. You voted for that idiot twice didn't you? You are the same idiot that thinks asking forgiveness for your hate this coming Sunday will absolve you from sin and guarantee you a place in His heavenly Kingdom.. Well, I believe the Universe has something much more wicked in store for you my friend and so I leave confident that karma will forge its own lessons with your soul.
I am trying to flip the bitch on this scenario and imagine the gay community forming a group of protestors to attend every heterosexual marriage ceremony in Beverly Hills this coming summer...protesting how repulsive it is to us that you are entering into these relationships and then flaunting your heterosexuality by holding hands and kissing openly in public. Flaunting all this sexuality over the airwaves in your TV shows, commercials for KY Jelly and practically straight porn movies. I am so sick of having to watch straight couple after straight couple kaanoodle with one another. It's shameless and immoral watching 90% of society embrace love (or sex), whether you were serious or not about it. I am utterly offended that you can't handle the occasional man on man or two lesbos holding hands as they shop or go to dinner together. Hets are constantly shoving their sexuality in my face.
Imagine having to try to ignore a whole horde of protestors on a day that is meant to celebrate the love two people have found...surrounded with hateful words wishing another human to "burn in hell." That is what your God teaches you? Then truly your beliefs are not my own and you should conclude your own religious ceremonies amongst your own kind, within your own church walls and I will do the same. But you do not get to take my tax dollars as an American citizen and tell me that your God says marriage is only between a man and a woman making your religious beliefs an American law against its citizens that may not believe in your God at all - because I certainly do not recognize that as my Creator.
Separation of Church and State...we need to review that little clause and have an intellectual conversation about the need to keep your God out of my Government...and your hate out of my life. If you don't want gay marriage, then most certainly don't have one and don't attend one...but you don't get to legislate love so it only fits what you believe. Is this Nation really so immersed in its selfishness, ignorance and apathy that we can't get past race, gender and sexual orientation? Obama does not support gay marriages and I am ok with that. But please the last thing we need right now is to draw out the zealots that want to vote for the McSame combo for another 4 years with us cowering in the back of the room hoping the HRC will fight the marriage fight and Obama will get a chance at Change.
If you are gay this is your fight - you have a story to tell...if you are a friend or family member of a gay then you need to know why this is important to them...and once you get past that then you need to stand up as an American and recognize this one little amendment of the state constitution is about more than just two fags getting married.
Rome is burning...and our undoing will be one brick at a time.
- Yes, the guy that yelled burn in hell pissed me off, but then I realized that I have to have a few conversations of my own...its not enough for you to simply know or suspect I am gay. I don't expect you to accept it, but you damn well need to recognize it because I am not going to cower in that corner for your own comfort. This is my life.
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