This Body in the Now

It would be egotistical of me to complain about the vessel I was given to harbor my soul. It has served me very well for nearly 40 years. I, on the otherhand, have probably failed it, as it does not reflect my inner soul or my desired image. I have most certainly abused it on some levels, chiefly poor nutrition and lack of exercise.

That said, its time to spell out the things that bother me so they can be addressed:

1. Hair - thin, just starting to get grays and in need of a good cut/style
2. Eyes - definitely time for a new scrip, probably glasses to supp. and poss. Lasik
3. Under-eye circles: its thin skin and broken caps, but minimizing it = good
4. Eyebrows - yeah, professionally shaped once would be nice
5. Melasma - a product of stress-induced hormone spike - hate it!
6. Teeth - time for Invisalign braces (again) and four veneers
7. Weight - too thin for the activities I want to participate in
8. Tan - in progress, but need consistent coverage and a derma check for melanoma
9. Flexibility - I don't have any. Possibly impacting my neck/shoulders now.
10. Boobs - yeah...I might spring for a cup upgrade one day, but its last on the list

My body right now is fatigued, tense and weak. My neck and shoulders are painfully tense from years of stress without any release. My diet sucks, plain and simple. My water intake is purely thru coffee...which is over the top at nearly 8-10 cups a day. My sleep is restless - I toss & turn throughout the night and often wake up to find my jaw clenched (thus the teeth have slid). I have no set sleep schedule and I am sure having the dogs in bed with me isn't a plus.

There's no health insurance right now, so a few things are on hold:

1. Complete blood test w/ cholesterol
2. Thyroid test - since every woman paternally has Thy Disease
3. Melanoma check - skin cancer on maternal side
4. Annual physical and gyno exams

Yes, it could be worse - most people my age are fighting obesity on some level...and the majority look like they are 5-10 years older than their actual age. I am lucky to still be able to pass for my early 30's. But this isn't about anyone else - only me and what I want out of this life and my own body.

• More muscle mass and lower body fat %
• Currently 120#; ok with 135 to 140# (lean muscle)
• Stronger arms, back, shoulder and chest muscles to power the kayak
• Bigger leg muscles for cycling
• a pair of calf muscles would be brilliant
• Noticeable abs - 6pk maybe; muffin top - outta here.
• Increased flexibility for yoga
• Less coffee, more actual water
• Organic diet with reduced red meat consumption
• Supplements to counter those genetics

Another post-it note for the next 12 months.