Growing Optimism

It happened without much energy being expended in its general direction. It took putting up some boundaries and changing my perspective a bit.

It has to be fed daily focus and provided with evidence of its very existance. But its there, the growing optimism that was absent for so long.

I am reluctant to call it joy or happiness quite yet. But it feels good...it vibrates at a higher level...making itself known. It was clearly a choice in dedicating time toward my life, unselfishly selfish.

I needed time to decompress, unravel all the tangles that had been woven over the last few years. I needed time to get bored and want something for myself again. I needed to think I had lost everything in order to allow only what I want back in.

From the outside things must certainly look the same. Only I can see the little things, the seeds of what will be. I am beginning to accept that everything I ever wanted can be...its not too late...it really is just about being in the moment and allowing it in.

I know it sounds all crazy & zen-like, but things have changed rather quickly and I can only embrace it & be grateful at how easily it has begun to flow into my life. I rather enjoy seeing the glass half full again.