Nail in the Wall

What is it about death that makes people so stupid and insensitive? When my maternal grandfather passed, I watched his house gutted within 48 hrs by his children. Things were basically "stolen" and the rest was thrown in the back of a pickup truck and hauled to the local dump. 48 hours after he died! WTF is wrong with people??

Today, as I walked down the hall of my grandmother's house I notice a nail in the hallway wall...and then another nail in the wall in the dining room...and then an empty shelf that used to display one of her little knick knack collections. Stuff is gone...and she isn't even dead...its my grandfather who just passed last month.

So here's my opinion...and I do have one. It's not ok to take things just because she says it is. She is in a state of shock and mourning and beaten down by months of residual frustrations. She hasn't even cried alone yet. Today was the first day that she was nearly alone by herself without pure chaos 24/7.

If she said it was ok then you should have enough sense to understand that she's pulled so thin that she doesn't have it in her to say no and speak up for herself. She doesn't want to think about it or fight about it. But that doesn't make it ok to liberate items from her household - with or without her permission right now...its predatory in my mind to make any changes in her life at this moment. She needs to stabilize.

And that means you don't go over to her house and start moving everything around or throwing things out. I watched her get stressed for 40 minutes yesterday because some smartiepants do-gooder thought getting rid of the stapler that has been on the desk since 1992 was just what she needed to declutter her life & mind. NO!

There is a time for everything...but when people are mourning the loss of a loved one...that is not the time to be casing out the goods because you think you aren't going to "get your fair share." That mentality is what tears families apart - over "stuff." And they didn't spend 64 years building a family to have it torn apart over who gets what, especially when one of them is still alive. Use your friggin' brain.

I'm not sure what exactly is wrong with the DNA here, but there are just social cues in life that you need to be able to pick up on when your own consciousness can't monitor your behavior as inappropriate. So, if you are having trouble with comprehending those cues, then perhaps you need professional help.

And for god's sake if you are going to take her things from her at her weakest moment, then have the fucking decency to remove the nail from the wall.