Prop 8 Vandalism

If only your vandalous acts were humorous, instead they were damaging.

You are angry. So am I. However vandalizing personal property (whatever the cause) is not only wrong, but you just hurt our community and its efforts to unify and integrate our civil rights with the rest of mainstream America.

No better than the McCain crazies that are trying to drive me off the road each day this effort has no purpose other than to outrage the opposition and further entrench them in their beliefs that somehow we deserve this...that we as the gay community are less than them.

When your actions are labeled on the 6 o'clock news as possible felony crimes do you know what most of America heard? The gays are attacking and vandalizing us...they are dangerous. It's incredibly irresponsible and wrong. Those types of acts immediately create an "us" vs. "them" struggle. If they were on the fence about Prop. 8, then your actions probably swung them in the opposite direction because most people will sympathize with victims of crime. Hell, its the reason my car is not only parked in the driveway tonight, but behind the gate. Because I don't need to wake up tomorrow and find the Obama decal on my rear windshield smashed in by some McCain "trick o'treaters."

Our actions define us, even more than our words. Whether you like it or not, we have to be better people than our straight brothers and sisters. Every time just one of us acts irrationally, criminally or otherwise it is branded on all of us. It gives them justification for their hatred. They use it against us. That is not the visibility that our community needs. We need to be out there illustrating that we are compassionate and civically responsible people.

Vandalizing property will not change their vote, their minds or their beliefs. And in my opinion these actions only aid their cause...giving focus to their misleading ads. The fact is this folks - the proponents of Prop. 8 are better organized and funded than we are. Hands down. If you have done any research on the Yes on 8 folks its easy to see how vast their campaign is. Its a fucking case study on grassroots organizational funding, structure, targeted messaging and strategic implementations.

So this is where your anger in many ways should be directed...win or lose on Tuesday. Why is the gay community still so poorly organized even though HRC is the #2 political organization in the Nation? I'm a harsh critic of the HRC. In my opinion they have done a poor job unifying the gay community as a whole...relying on a small percentage of people as their voice and then sticking their hands out continuously for gay dollars to fund them.

If we want things to change in America for all gays, then we have to demand that every day. That is an undertaking that I am not sure many of us are comfortable with. It means coming even further out of the closet which is always risky on some level, but even more so if you live in a conservative community or your family is evangelical.

I think in CA, the gay community has forgotten that gay life here is a dream compared to being gay in Ohio or Mississippi. Just because my gay life is ok...relatively unaffected by outright discrimination or safety concerns...does not mean that the majority of gay life is like this elsewhere in the United States. And that is the primary problem.

We can't just battle this type of second-class citizenship on a state-by-state basis and hope that like dominoes one State will legalize marriage and the rest will fall. Hope is not a strategy. Neither is complacency.

We need to organize on a level reminiscent of every other civil rights movement. That means more than donating dollars for ads. Ads that in my opinion came too late in the day...were poorly written/produced...and failed to resonate with straight people that this was anything more than a gay issue.

A new No on 8 ad is about to air this weekend with Samuel L. Jackson as the spokesperson. honestly, my first thought is that this is too late in the day to be targeting the black vote hoping they will support us due to their own civil rights struggles of the 60's.

The fact is the gay community has not educated the public on who we are. We as a majority are not visible. Wanda Sykes put it best today on Ellen...blacks didn't have to come out to their families as black, or to their employers...it was transparent. Being gay is still an issue of visibility, before it can ever be a issue of tolerance and equality.

Vandalizing property does nothing for us. It's about as useful as a few gay dollars to buy crappy No on 8 ads. We need change within our own gay community - both in leadership and within those individual organizations. Anyone that has that much energy to target 3000 Yes on 8 residents needs to really sit down and think about how to better use that energy and organization for the greater good of us all. I certainly do not condone those negative actions.

We have an individual responsibility to be seen. And be seen as regular, responsible American citizens...not defined by the small subculture groups that manage to get TV airtime during gay pride parades. Dykes on Bikes or half-naked gay men in drag are not representative of who I am as a lesbian or any gay man I know...not even close. But we need to realize that to much of America that is who we are as a whole. And the churches feed off those images to fund their political "war" chest.

To them we are:

• the promiscuous gay (drug induced) men trolling bath houses and bars just like Queer as Folk
• the dysfunctional drama of L Word...not one solid healthy relationship after 5 seasons
• the nonsexual characters on Will in Grace
• the colorful people parading around with rainbows at every Pride parade
• stereotypical creative types (i.e. Th Fab Five)

There has been no real effort by Hollywood or the media in general to educate straight America on the inequalities and discrimination that exist for gays. I remember how hopeful I was when the Logo channel launched, but now it just pisses me off. There is no real organization there to help educate and unite our community...let alone any straight audience that may be watching. I can't even identify with half of their content.

For the record, I really do understand the deep lvel of anger and sadness many of us are feeling. I think we know on some level that Tuesday will be another slap in our faces. I hope not, but again hope is not a strategy.

To the people that felt compelled to support Prop 8 with a yard sign...well, as I travel around town I have collected their addresses and written them each a letter, as their neighbor...letting them know in a rational voice how their hatred or ignorance has impacted not only my life, but my faith in this Country's foundation and my belief in the deteriorating religious faith/practices. For every church that has held a special Protection of Marriage sermon and later passed out those signs to their members I have written another letter as a spiritual believer. To the business owners a letter to let them know that they have lost a customer or client. To large corporations that donated to Yes on 8 - yep you guessed it, a letter boycotting your products...and I am good at boycotts. Haven't been to Best Buy since a customer service incident in 1997.

Graffiti is not the type of visibility that we need to progress forward. We need intelligent, progressive leadership that can speak beyond special "gay" rights issues and more to the inequalities that define our lives as citizens and the need to strategically organize as an actual civil rights movement of the 21st Century. We need to empower ourselves and be the creators of the change we wish to see in our own lives and those that will follow us.

We are defined not by our circumstances, but how we choose to react to them. This Marriage Protection Measure is just one example of our continuing struggle...we need to reflect on how we have chosen to react here because this is a drop in the bucket of inequalities that exist out there for all of us...even beyond our CA border...beyond our own National borders even.

Will our generation be leaders of change or silent, invisible victims? Or worse yet, will we be reduced to violent or criminal outbursts further deepening the existing division between us and our neighbors? We decide that.